Raptus Regaliter

The weekend wasn\'t so bad as I imagined.  Unlike some of Her Maj\'s past colleagues, this lot were a lot more laid-back and not obsessed with money.

Still missed Motörhead, though.

Those of you who don\'t work in computer programming might as well sit this one out.

Object-orientation has been one of the major innovations in computer programming in the past 20 years.  I was first taught object-orientation using ADA, which turned out to be the worst possible way to learn it.  I subsequently didn\'t get a handle on the methodology until much later.  I didn\'t really need to.

However, having now got a reasonable idea of what object-orientation is about, I\'m beginning to realise that an awful lot of people who say they write object-oriented code, don\'t.  For example : I have recently come across a system where all database queries are done via objects.  You want a new query, you write an object to do it.  So far, so good.  I\'ve written a similar system in the past.  However, the problem is the structure of these objects.  You see, instead of writing one base class and then using inheritance, so that all you have to do is write a class stub altering a variable or two or changing a function slightly during the inheritance, each class is fully written from scratch, and each object just contains one function.  No inheritance is done, other than that inherent in \"copy and paste\" coding, which, correct me if I\'m wrong, IS EXACTLY THE BLOODY THING OBJECT-ORIENTATION IS SUPPOSED TO STOP!!

Look; it\'s quite simple, folks.  Object-orientation allows you to write a block of code which can have its component parts changed, instead of copying-and-pasting code, which means that you don\'t have twenty different copies of slightly-different functions lying around, all requiring updating when you discover a bug.  This means that the computer keeps track of all the different versions and uses the right version at the right time, and you don\'t have to go around re-inventing the wheel every time you find a problem that would be fixed by function x, but which is subtly different.  This means that you don\'t go around WASTING MY FUCKING TIME by creating x copies of the SAME FUCKING SOURCE CODE. 

If you cannot get this major feature of object-oriented programming through your head, then I humbly suggest you seek employment in some other area.

 
Not last night, but the night before,
the Death of Rock n\' Roll came knocking on the door
He didn\'t bring his scythe; he didn\'t bring a harp
just a five-string telecaster, which he\'d tuned slightly sharp
He looked just like Keith Richards, and wore an evil grin,
His pass accessed all areas, (but I dare not let him in).
He said \"I\'ve been in the Business, son, for fifty years or more
and escorted some of your favorite stars to the ultimate stage door.\"

\"\'Live fast, die young and damn you all\' seems to be their creed,
but when I turn up in the dressing room,
you should hear the buggers plead.
But by then, it\'s far too late, as if they need reminding.
They put themselves in the hands of Fate,
and all HIS contracts are binding.\"

\"I like to play my little jokes, upon the souls I tend.
Townshend will grow old before he dies,
but I\'ll have taken all his friends.
So let this be a lesson, to all who play guitar
think twice about the risks ahead, if you try to be a star.
And if you do become a star, you\'ll rest assured for then
at a time you least expect it, I\'ll knock on your door again.\"