Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

Disappointing net porn freaks since 2003


13.03.2006 07:00 - The Dan Brown Template

 

Use the following template to come up with your very own badly-concieved and written thriller, just like Dan himself!!

Chapter 1

Renowned {occupation} {foreigner} gasped his last breath as the {mcguffin} fell from his stiffening {anatomy}, in the {famous room} of the {famous place}. "{exclamation}" he {exclaimed}, in the language of his {secret society}. He inwardly {punishment} for forgetting the {badguys}. There was just one chance. Hurredly, as the life-force drained out of his {thingy} he scrawled a desperate {stupid secret message that a five-year old would have no trouble working out, let alone a police officer or a cypher expert} in his own {fluid} on the {message location}. If only he hadn't {embarrasment} in front of his {main character}, this would never have happened.

Example :

Renowned philatelist Hubert Hundgeburt gasped his last breath as the Autographed Margaret Thatcher DVD fell from his stiffening Nostril, in the Cabinet room of 10 Downing St. "llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch!" he hissed, in the language of his cleaners. He inwardly drowned himself in custard for forgetting the Sportfreunde Stiller. There was just one chance. Hurredly, as the life-force drained out of his Sony Walkman he scrawled a desperate "P" in his own faeces on the window. If only he hadn't declared his intention to marry a goat in front of his wife, this would never have happened.

See? Even better than the real thing!!


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