Raptus Regaliter

My girlfriend is very demanding in bed.  She often wakes me up in the middle of the night to demand that I stop snoring.

Now I admit that I do snore.  I recently had the problem that I kept dropping off, and waking myself up as I began to snore.  But Her Maj is a bit of a window-rattler as well.

What is interesting is the number of strange noises that people make in their sleep.  I was up last night, listening, and then she started.  Initially you get the heavy-breathing Darth Vader impression, although sometimes it starts with her making a noise like a sleeping dog chasing rabbits.  It then moves on to a cautious growl, then to the fully fledged snore.  This continues until she gets to the point of snoring, even though no airways are open.  This is always a stressful time, as you wait to see if she's going to start breathing normally or if her head is going to implode.

It hasn't imploded yet.