Raptus Regaliter

I was stalked on the tram last night.  This character approched me at the Haltestelle and started going on about my Bass case, calling it a "nice mandolin".   Although he looked fairly normal, I soon realised he wasn't quite all there, as he gabbled on, free-associating, telling me he was a conductor, even though the only time he ever gets to conduct is during electro-shock therapy.  I started to ignore him, pointedly, but he wouldn't take the hint, continuing to gabble on.  By this time he'd exhausted his repertoire and started repeating himself.  The tram arrived, I got on and he followed me, continually talking, and tried to sit next to me.  Having substantial "Nutter on the Bus" experience from Birmingham I sat where he couldn't sit next to me.  No matter, he sat as close as possible, all the time rabbiting on in an increasingly surreal manner, frightening the people sitting next to me, who got off the tram very quickly.

By this time, we'd pulled into Friesenplatz, so I left the train, and jumped back into the next carriage.  Unfortunately, he had followed.  I could hear him working his way up the carriage toward me, going on about the French for Tortoise.  At the Hauptbahnhof I jumped off the train again and ran upstairs.  This time, he didn't follow.  Making sure the platform was clear, I came down and caught another tram, all the time looking over my shoulder just in case he'd followed me.  I got to the concert without any further problems, but, just to make sure, I left directly after we'd finished playing and went home by taxi.

Not a pleasant experience, but definitely stand-up material...