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Frequently Asked Questions
and answers 
updated May 2008

1. Martin Newell, who he?
Ah get away with ya... He is the UKs most frequently published poet, by virtue of his weekly (once thrice weekly) poem spot in the Independent, a UK broadsheet newspaper. He is also a wonderful pop musician and songwriter and has been in bands and solo since about 1970. (Update:- Currently Martin writes for 'The Sunday Express')
2. Where does he live and can I write to him?
He lives in Wivenhoe, which is a smallish village near Colchester in north east Essex. This is in eastern England, the middle right hand section of England if you are looking at a map. You can email him directly and privately from this very site. 
3. How old is he?
55 this year 2008. He formally celebrated his 50th in June (2003) with a special gig.
4.Has he got any videos available?
There are official videos of the 2003 Golden Afternoon on the Youtube Channel Youmatica and various other bits and bobs elsewhere on Youtube and maybe even from this site. Martin has had videos in the past. Perhaps if you email him directly he may have stock left to send out. 
THNow where did I put the bike?
5.Who is Nelson?
Our Nelson is Peter Nice, a one time member of Martin's bands The Cleaners from Venus and The Brotherhood Of Lizards. He plays bass for New Model Army and also has two bands of his own. He lives in Colchester near Martin and he is Martin's main musical collaborator and close friend. The other Nelson was something big in nautical history apparently.
6.Is Martin a professor of mathematics?
No, that is another Martin Newell there is also a Newell Martin who wrote a novel with a weird title involving foodstuffs.
7.There is no longer a  question 7, it was stolen.
8. Who is Ted Jarvis?
Ted Jarvis is a comic creation Martin portrays to entertain Wivenhoe's citizens. He is an old East Anglian type with a rather earthy take on life. He also has an on/off girlfriend called Dizzy who is played by a former Cleaner From Venus, actor/hairdresser Paul Ridley Thomas. 
9.When will Martin be coming to my town/country/living room to perform?
Unless your country is Great Britain I'd say it is unlikely Martin will be over your way. But never say never eh. 
10.Has Martin written songs for anyone else?
In the late 80's Martin took over from Robyn Hitchcock and Graham Gouldman as Captain Sensible's songwriting partner. Recently a wonderful artist called Richard Shelton has recorded a new Martin composition called Grenadine and Blue. Martin is hoping that similar artists will want to use some of the smoky jazz styled tunes he is enjoying writing at the moment.
11.Whatever happened to Giles Smith
Giles writes for the big UK newspapers. He writes about that nasty, dirty, business some call sport. He also writes about those nasty, dirty, things called cars. We still love him though. 
12.Is Martin alright?
He's fine, it's everybody else. 

Would drinkers kindly bring their glasses back to the bar now please.