10.07.2007 22:14 - The New Old Folks
You know, old people just aren't what they used to be.
When I was a kid, you couldn't drop a sweet wrapper without some old fart moaning "I didn't fight in the war for the likes of you to litter the street!" Rebellion was so much easier in those days. Just having long hair would be enough to provoke complaints in the "letters to the Editor" page in the local paper.
"Dear Sir, I am 75. The youth of today are an utter disgrace. If Mr. Churchill were alive today, he'd be spinning in his grave!"
A standard cry would be :"A Couple of years in the army would do 'em good!", in response to the latest theft/bankjob etc. Brilliant social strategy, that one : Take a bunch of hardened criminals and give them access to guns and bombs. That'll be the making of them!
And as for anyone foreign daring to move in the neighbourhood:
"Dear Sir, I am a grandmother and I believe all foreigners should be shot, particularly them darkies! Preferably through the knees, so they can't run away from our wonderful police." You just don't get that sort of casual intolerance these days, because they've all dropped dead from apoplexy.
And what about the generation that have replaced them?
"Like... Mr. Editor Maaaaaan...I, like, didn't fight in two world wars.........at all. In fact I............."
"er......"
"Anyone got any chocolate?"
"Oh yeah! I... grew my hair long and took loads of drugs. Like, maaan, the kids of today, they freak me out, maaaan. My grand-kid, he wants to be a bank-manager. Where did we go wrong? When I think of all the years I've spent.. on unemployment and social security, whilst other people worked hard, paying taxes so I could live in luxury. These people seem to think they should be treated favorably for working their fingers to the bone or something...Peace, dude."
