21.08.2010 14:52 - Satnavs : The Spawn of Satan
Satnavs are evil. I know this because they are essentially a small computer, dedicated to running one program, and we all know what bastards computers are. For example : you program your Satnav to take you somewhere, and it doesn't actually take you there. No. It takes you to the point where the perverse bastard of a driver of the data-gathering car said "Right, we're there, let's piss off down the pub." and pressed the "STOP" button. This is why inputting "Bonn" to one of these things will make you end up on a small, one-way street, which you will have to follow for about a mile all the way out of Bonn until you can turn round. Based on experience, Harrogate is actually some way outside Harrogate, somewhere in the middle of a roundabout, conveniently ignoring the long queue to get into the town centre. It's as if the thing is deliberately programmed to navigate you to the most awkward position possible. I have, in the past, been instructed to drive the wrong way down a one-way street, been told to turn right at a roundabout (in the UK, where you should turn left) and, whilst on the M6, was told that I was in the middle of a field and should turn round immediately.