Steve Dix...Comedian?

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19.01.2004 15:44 - Geoffrey Is A Muso..

I have to post this, as I can plead guilty to a lot of it.  It came via uk.music.guitar from Steve Fivetrees.  I don\'t know who the author is.  If he gets in contact credit will be given where credit is due.

STOP PRESS : The writer of the piece has identified himself.  It is none other than Martin Newell.

Geoffrey Is A Muso

Geoffrey is a muso
He thinks he is a star
He keeps an M.U. sticker
On the windscreen of his car
He\'s got a bank of keyboards
He mucks about on bass
He hangs around at venues
With a smug look on his face
Peering at the players
Checking chord positions
Satisfied the band are all
Inferior musicians
He goes to jazz-rock workshops
And jams in thirteen eight
He wonders why his girlfriend
Never comes along till late

Geoffrey is a muso
And solos are his mission
He\'s always got his nose
In International Musician
The magazine for semi-pros
Who like to think they\'re pro
A bastion of beardedness
Where women never go
Where technical is TECHNICAL
And Midi is the king
It\'s full of four page features
On how to bend a string
Or how to turn your toilet
Into sixteen tracks or more
With several hundred sandbags
And an insulated door

Geoffrey is a Muso
Who listens to Jeff Beck
Who plays a brand new Gibson
And moans about the neck
He fiddles with his whammy bar
He messes with the action
And hammer-ons and pull-offs
Are his only satisfaction
And every Sunday lunchtime
He\'s under the illusion
That what people want to hear
Is hours of jazz-rock fusion
And if I ever own a pub
Which I can call my own.............
I\'ll have punks and drunks
And bluesers and users
And wasters and tasters
And slaggers and blaggers
But the sign on the door
 Will say..................
\"MUSO FREE ZONE\"


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