Steve Dix...Comedian?

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19.01.2004 15:44 - Geoffrey Is A Muso..

I have to post this, as I can plead guilty to a lot of it.  It came via from Steve Fivetrees.  I don\'t know who the author is.  If he gets in contact credit will be given where credit is due.

STOP PRESS : The writer of the piece has identified himself.  It is none other than Martin Newell.

Geoffrey Is A Muso

Geoffrey is a muso
He thinks he is a star
He keeps an M.U. sticker
On the windscreen of his car
He\'s got a bank of keyboards
He mucks about on bass
He hangs around at venues
With a smug look on his face
Peering at the players
Checking chord positions
Satisfied the band are all
Inferior musicians
He goes to jazz-rock workshops
And jams in thirteen eight
He wonders why his girlfriend
Never comes along till late

Geoffrey is a muso
And solos are his mission
He\'s always got his nose
In International Musician
The magazine for semi-pros
Who like to think they\'re pro
A bastion of beardedness
Where women never go
Where technical is TECHNICAL
And Midi is the king
It\'s full of four page features
On how to bend a string
Or how to turn your toilet
Into sixteen tracks or more
With several hundred sandbags
And an insulated door

Geoffrey is a Muso
Who listens to Jeff Beck
Who plays a brand new Gibson
And moans about the neck
He fiddles with his whammy bar
He messes with the action
And hammer-ons and pull-offs
Are his only satisfaction
And every Sunday lunchtime
He\'s under the illusion
That what people want to hear
Is hours of jazz-rock fusion
And if I ever own a pub
Which I can call my own.............
I\'ll have punks and drunks
And bluesers and users
And wasters and tasters
And slaggers and blaggers
But the sign on the door
 Will say..................

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