Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

70% of Cats said their owners preferred it.

21.02.2004 13:17 - The Effluent Strikes the Air-Conditioning

I have a strange problem.

Every time someone goes on holiday and leaves me in charge of the house/flat, shit happens.

I don\'t mean just little accidents, I mean major, really unpleasant, wouldn\'t-wish-it-on-your-worst-enemy scenarios.

Well it\'s happened again.  Her Maj has been off for a fortnight in the Canaries, and this week it all came at once :

Strike One : A friend of mine has a heart-attack.

Strike Two : Another friend discovers his wife has cancer.

Strike Three : Another friend discovers her parents are splitting up.

I had hoped that a friend\'s kidney cancer just before Xmas was the last vicious strike of the spiteful little year that 2003 was, but it seems not to be the case.  Excuse me God, but we\'re fed-up with cleaning waste-products out of the air-conditioning.  Could you arrange for things to become a little better down here?  Shit happens, but can you arrange for it to happen to someone who\'s really been asking for it for a change rather than people who are hanging on by a thread?

Oh, and if any of the people above are reading this, I\'m trying hard to send you good vibes.  I\'m sorry that it\'s the only thing I can do.  You\'re in my thoughts.

STOP PRESS : Now I discover another friend is back in hospital after infection complications on an appendectomy......

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