12.06.2008 08:32 - Science Fiction
Recently, I have been taking an interest in Her Maj's favorite TV programme, mainly because she loathes and despises most science fiction, and it's her TV - mainly because she conveniently assassinated mine by leaving it connected during a thunderstorm. Through this fact, I have discovered the biggest piece of science-fiction I am ever likely to see.
It's called "Sex and the City".
It involves a group of aliens masquerading as women, living in New York, who seem to be carrying out some sort of sexual survey of the entire male population of that city. They are clearly aliens, because they clearly haven't gotten their female act together, as any half-wit can work out after watching two episodes. (which are shown back-to-back on German TV). So what gives them away as aliens? Well, for a start, they don't seem to have any visible form of support. The main character seems to spend about 2 minutes every week brain-dumping into a Mac, which is then subsequently published. That's about it, and before you say that's her job and it pays well, it MAY pay well, but I bet it doesn't pay enough to keep her in all the designer clothes, shoes etc. that she sports every week, and doesn't ever wear again. So what, you say, she's probably selling them through Ebay. When, I counter, have you ever met a woman who sells her shoes? Women don't do that, particularly the type the aliens are mimicking. They stockpile them, just in case they come across the perfect outfit that matches them, so they have an excuse. And that's another thing. If they're storing them, how? In those apartments? In New York, fercryinoutloud?! Clearly some sort of Star Trek - type matter replication must be involved.
Secondly, they don't seem to menstruate, or have headaches like the majority of women. They're always up for it. ALWAYS.
Finally, they somehow manage to have sex without removing the majority of their clothes, including the implausable ability to mate with a man still wearing trousers, without leaving so much as a droplet of bodily fluids on either of them. And when they've finished mating, none of their clothes are creased, and their makeup and hair are ABSOLUTELY. BLOODY. PERFECT.
If that isn't science fiction, then I don't know what is.
