Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

70% of Cats said their owners preferred it.

07.02.2004 13:35 - Sorted For E's and Wizz

I remember reading somewhere that Ecstasy (or MDMA to use its proper name) was actually invented during WWI as a "Super-Soldier" drug by the German Army.  The drug was considered a failure due to the side-effects.

I also remember reading about the famous "Christmas Armistice" between the British and German troops, much to the horror of their superiors, who thought that they should be getting on with more important things like killing each other, instead of finding out that the other side wasn't the monster that they'd been lead to believe.

I believe that the two facts are not unrelated.

I imagine the truth would be something more like this :

The scene :A foxhole in No-Mans land in the middle of the war. 

Sitting waist-deep in the mud is a British Army Lance-Corporal, his eyes staring, his face a hideous grin.  A portable victrola is perched upon his knee, which he winds furiously.  The record upon it, a scratched 78 of "Goodbye Dolly Grey" whirls madly, repeating the phrase "dbye doll-dbye doll-dbye doll...".  Around him stand not only rank-and-file members of his own Regiment, but of the German forces, although it is difficult to tell which is which, as they have cast aside most of their uniforms, or are wearing a mixture of both.  All of their faces are contorted rictuses of ecstatic pleasure, as they jump up and down waving their arms in time to the music.

In front of them are an unlikely couple, slumped against each other for support, the sweat streaming from them and staining their clothes.  They are the commanding officers of both platoons.  Tears are falling from the eyes of the German Leutnant, briefly tracing the ugly Prussian duelling-scar on his cheek, whilst he mumbles  "Ach, Tommy, du bist mein Kumpel, du bist der besten Kumpel der Welt, ich habe mich ganz groß liebe für dich..".  To which his Second-Lieutenant friend replies by hugging him and saying "Me too, Fritz, me too.  Erm.. I say old chap, you wouldn't happen to have any more of those pills, would you?"


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