03.09.2007 22:07 - Organization
Having been bitten by a radioactive sloth, I have developed a fairly good sixth sense about working in a large company. My super employee-sense is finely-tuned, and every time it tingles, I know one thing. The biofertilizer is on a convergence course with the rotary ventilation unit.
One of the prime causes of this tingling (You know how it feels. It's sort of a cross between unrequited love and a pending attack of diahorrea. Basically the feeling that the arse is about to fall out of your world and there's not a thing you can do about it) is the infamous "rewriting of the company organisation chart".
If you don't get the tingles big-time when you hear this, then you're either brain-dead or part of senior management. Or both, seeing as how the former seems to be a requirement for the latter. (Although these days they've certified it by calling it an MBA).
The reason is this : Re-organizations are down to one thing : a catastrophic failure to communicate. Basically what has happened is the MBAs have yet again failed to understand what the people with the real qualifications are saying to them, resulting in a huge cock-up.
Now, if there is one thing that MBAs do understand is that a cock-up is something that can not only ruin your whole day, but your entire career. A rather large, giftwrapped pile of dog ordure has been dropped in someone's lap, and the only recourse is to either play a game of pass-the-parcel with it until the music stops and someone has to unwrap the box containing a pile of stinking dog-doos, or, the second option : musical chairs, whereby the person responsible and the people who know they are are rapidly separated and magically spirited away to the ends of the organization chart, to a chorus of "Harrrumphs" a lá "Blazing Saddles".
Now, if you have any sense, you will realize that this is a suitable point whereby you should start looking for alternative employment. The reason is simple : if you survive more than two of these reshuffles, you will not be considered part of the solution, you will be considered part of the problem. If you do not wish to be playing "God Save The Queen" as the icy waters begin to lap over the deck, then you better be first in the lifeboats, and you better start praying and hoping that the senior officers haven't locked you below decks.
Especially if you shagged that fat bird in Marketing.