21.09.2008 14:53 - Fully Rested
I've just come back from the States, on a 10-hour flight. Long-haul flights always make me constipated. I know what you're thinking : "Thanks, Steve, we really wanted to know about the state of your colon".
But anyway, I was wondering why this always happens to me after long flights and then I thought…airline food! On an aircraft with 300 passengers and only four toilets, of course they'll feed you stuff that'll block you up.
It's preferable to showers of brown hailstones and the subsequent damage lawsuits.
Of course, the Americans don't call it the toilet - they call it the RESTROOM.
Hell of a euphemism, eh?
"Oh that curry has made me feel really tired - I'm off to the rest room, me, for a nice long rest"
"All those fried eggs, I won't be able to sleep"
"Guy in the closet next to me, he was having a real rest - you could hear him snoring loudly"
"Did you sleep well, dear?" "No, I was up all night in the restroom."
"I rested so much.. I've got an arse like a dragon's nostril"
It's no wonder American kids have a problem with bedwetting, they're confused.
"Go to the restroom before you go to bed"
"But Daddy I'm not tired."
"Is that tired tired or restroom tired?"
It probably explains why actors say their "resting" when they're unemployed.
Doubtless after reading this you'll be in severe danger of resting yourself.