Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

70% of Cats said their owners preferred it.

10.05.2010 07:36 - Once Upon A Time...

..there was a little firm named Apple.  Unfortunately for little Apple, there was another firm named Apple set up by a group of obscure musicians, who sued little Apple.  Little Apple then discovered there was such a thing as a Lawyer, and that you could do wonderful things with them.  One day, Apple built a computer which had a pretty graphic interface that worked with a mouse, and everyone thought it was such a good idea that they built their own graphic interfaces.  Apple decided this would be a lovely time to try out their new Lawyer, and sued everyone for copying their ideas, especially a firm named Xerox.  Unfortunately for Apple, Xerox had actually invented graphical interfaces, and mice, and duly sued Apple's arse off.  Because Apple had been so nasty, everyone laughed at Apple for getting a comeuppance.

A long time passed, and Apple, remembering what it was like to be laughed at, tried hard to be everyone's friend.  In the meantime, Microsoft decided to throw its weight about, and soon everyone forgot how mean Apple had been, and started saying how lovely Apple was.

Unfortunately for Apple, this went to it's head, and he thought he could get away with being mean again.  Although Apple had built it's computers up on an operating system that was open source, and had wooed all the open source developers, it decided that it didn't want to let anyone else play with its expensive new toys, like iPods and iPhones and iPads.  So Apple went back to its sulky ways, and started trying to keep all its toys to itself.

When you keep all your toys to yourself, boys and girls, it means that no-one else gets to play.  If no-one else gets to play, they don't make friends with you, and everyone else goes off to the other girls and boys who, although they don't have quite so many shiny toys, are willing to let others play with them.

The End.

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