Steve Dix...Comedian?

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22.09.2005 12:46 - Guilty Pleasures

The other day I read an article about "guilty pleasures". I was trying to explain this to someone, and I was surprised that thereís no word for this in German. A guilty pleasure is something that you enjoy, but makes you feel a little ashamed as well. About the nearest you can get in german is ďSchadenfreudeĒ, which is something quite different. The thing is, they interviewed people about their guilty pleasures, and these supposed guilty pleasures just didnít make me feel guilty. I mean, "listening to the Monkees", a guilty pleasure? Come on! A few of the naffer Davy Jones tracks maybe, but hardly what I'd call a guilty pleasure. A threesome with two junior sales girls in a five-star hotel on company expenses, thatís a guilty pleasure.

Speaking of guilty pleasures, one of the ones listed was this very special coffee from Indonesia. Itís apparently made from the dung of Civet Cats that eat coffee berries - despite which they somehow manage to get a good nightís sleep. So, this coffee is apparently the best coffee you will ever taste, and costs One Thousand Euro per kilo. Meanwhile, the cat is pestering me to open a tin of Whiskas. It's not our cat, but it occasionally comes round and pesters us for food.

Suddenly, I experienced what can only be described as a Damascan moment. Come on, puss, itís time for you to start earning your keep. I had these coffee beans coated in chocolate that Aldi did about six months back, which I hadn't managed to eat, as they were so strong. So, I started to feed them to the cat, who was amazingly cooperative in this matter.

Now, one of these beans is enough to keep you up all night. Two, and you have headaches all day. Little puss here got through the complete bag, and looked like he was at an all-night rave. His tail was vibrating at about 60hz, and he was racing round the room. Vertically. Meanwhile Iím waiting by the kitty-litter tray watching all this, rubbing my hands avariciously and singing "Katzen Klo", because, if coffee has the same effect on puss as it has on me, very soon, weíre going to be in the money, so to speak.

Well, I didnít have to wait long.

It certainly smelled like coffee.

Coffee with just a hint of tuna.

Unfortunately I chickened out at this point. Iíd stuck it in the percolator, but I really couldnít bring myself to try It.

So I waited for Her Maj to come home instead.

"Hello Schatz, Iíve made you some coffee".

"Ach, du Liebe."

"Does it taste nice?"

"It tastes like shit. Fishy Shit. Whatís wrong with the cat?"

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