22.09.2005 12:46 - Guilty Pleasures
The other day I read an article about "guilty pleasures". I was trying to explain this to someone, and I was surprised that there’s no word for this in German. A guilty pleasure is something that you enjoy, but makes you feel a little ashamed as well. About the nearest you can get in german is “Schadenfreude”, which is something quite different. The thing is, they interviewed people about their guilty pleasures, and these supposed guilty pleasures just didn’t make me feel guilty. I mean, "listening to the Monkees", a guilty pleasure? Come on! A few of the naffer Davy Jones tracks maybe, but hardly what I'd call a guilty pleasure. A threesome with two junior sales girls in a five-star hotel on company expenses, that’s a guilty pleasure.
Speaking of guilty pleasures, one of the ones listed was this very special coffee from Indonesia. It’s apparently made from the dung of Civet Cats that eat coffee berries - despite which they somehow manage to get a good night’s sleep. So, this coffee is apparently the best coffee you will ever taste, and costs One Thousand Euro per kilo. Meanwhile, the cat is pestering me to open a tin of Whiskas. It's not our cat, but it occasionally comes round and pesters us for food.
Suddenly, I experienced what can only be described as a Damascan moment. Come on, puss, it’s time for you to start earning your keep. I had these coffee beans coated in chocolate that Aldi did about six months back, which I hadn't managed to eat, as they were so strong. So, I started to feed them to the cat, who was amazingly cooperative in this matter.
Now, one of these beans is enough to keep you up all night. Two, and you have headaches all day. Little puss here got through the complete bag, and looked like he was at an all-night rave. His tail was vibrating at about 60hz, and he was racing round the room. Vertically. Meanwhile I’m waiting by the kitty-litter tray watching all this, rubbing my hands avariciously and singing "Katzen Klo", because, if coffee has the same effect on puss as it has on me, very soon, we’re going to be in the money, so to speak.
Well, I didn’t have to wait long.
It certainly smelled like coffee.
Coffee with just a hint of tuna.
Unfortunately I chickened out at this point. I’d stuck it in the percolator, but I really couldn’t bring myself to try It.
So I waited for Her Maj to come home instead.
"Hello Schatz, I’ve made you some coffee".
"Ach, du Liebe."
"Does it taste nice?"
"It tastes like shit. Fishy Shit. What’s wrong with the cat?"
