Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

This is what happens if you don't apply yourself at school, kids.


19.11.2005 04:35 - The Loss of Innocence

A catalogue of major disappointments in my life, so far.

  • Finding out that Readybrek didn't make you glow like in the advert.
  • Attempting to stretch a pound note (I'm really showing my age on this one) and finding they weren't as elastic as in the poundstretcher advert.
  • Being unable to enter a different reality via my wardrobe.
  • Attempting a similar trick with a looking-glass, and narrowly avoiding stitches.
  • Discovering Archaeologists were nothing like Indiana Jones.
  • Cancellation of manned space exploration programmes.
  • Discovering that Santa at the Co-op was an impostor with a blatantly fake beard and false padding, and being gagged and smuggled out by my mother and a shop assistant when I tried to tell the other kids we were being hoodwinked.
  • The complete failure of science and industry to provide the public with personal hoverpacks by the year 2000.
  • Elections.
  • "Let It Be"
  • "Dragonslayer"
  • The 1980s.
  • Home Espresso machines. (This one is quite recent)
  • Microsoft Windows.

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