Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful.

21.08.2005 08:53 - The Text of The Pope's Leaving Speech, Weltjugendtag 2005

Ladies and Gentlemen, Pilgrims and Nuns.

Thank you all for turning up for World Youth Day 2005. It's been a real laugh. I'm sure you've all had fun, and Sister Thomann tells me we've made about 27 Euro on the tombola stall.

I'd particularly like to thank all the volunteers, who have worked hard all week, putting pilgrims on the wrong trams, making confusing announcements and hiding the food, and all the host families who have rung in to complain about the ungrateful behavior of the Pilgrims who were billeted with them. I'd also like to thank those nice people at the Brauhauses, and at Pascha's*, for helping so many Pilgrims in their quest to find material for their subsequent confessions.

I would like to thank the Bishop of Cologne for allowing me to stay with him, and I hope that the four nights on the sofa didn't put his back out too much. I'd also like to thank all those nice people who spent their time giving out those little rubber hats in the foil envelopes to the pilgrims, just in case it rained. Fortunately, I'd put a good word in for the weather with The Boss, so they weren't needed. What's that, Cardinal Lehmann? Oh, well, never mind, as long as they confess...

Well, that's about it, thanks for coming, and see you in Austria in two year's time.

Hang on, wait a minute. It's not in Austria, sorry. It's Australia. You can't fault me on that, they both like their beer.

OK, Ta-ra then, and if anyone needs a lift to Rome, talk to one of the blokes in the black robes on the gangplank, I'm sure we can fit you in.

*Notorious Brothel and lap-dance bar in Ehrenfeld

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