Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

Have you EVER tried restringing a left-handed electric 12?

18.02.2006 16:41 - Sesame Street

Apparently, Oscar the Grouch is to be removed from "Sesame Street" for being a "Bad Example To Children".

I'm Sorry?

I thought that that was the point.  I thought that a grumpy green puppet that lives in a dustbin was the very epitomé of a bad example, and that was why he was IN Sesame Street, and I would have thought that that was the flaming POINT.  Not only that, but the Cookie Monster is going to have to alter his diet, because eating cookies is, apparently, another bad example.  In the future, he's probably going to be known as the wholefood lentil-and-broccoli-bake person - "monster" being terribly un-PC these days.  He's just a person of a different shape, and you don't want to hurt his feelings, kids.  (Perhaps that's why he was comfort-eating, eh?) 

Who knows where this will end?  I mean, this is a TV programme which features a character who is a seven-foot tall bird, who speaks, and has an invisible friend whom only he can see - an elephant named Mr. Snuphalophagus.  We wouldn't want our kids to think that having an invisible friend that only they can hear is normal, would we?  Well, apart from the massed ranks of Psychiatrists who charge by the hour and private mental homes, no.

You see, I grew up in a different age.  Not so long ago, people used to believe that life was a learning process, and that the way to get on in life was experience it, and learn from it.  Somehow, someone has decided on our behalf, that it would be better for us not to gain that experience at all, and to be shielded from it, cossetted rather than have the edges knocked off.  My generation grew up, playing with toys painted with lead paint, playing on grass that dogs used, running around in farmyards in all the shit.  There were one or two fatalites, true, but on the whole, what didn't kill us made us stronger.  The current generation, coddled from birth, seem a sickly lot in comparison. A modern western woman who becomes pregnant is treated with kid gloves, and has to take all kinds of suppliments, tests and god knows what to ensure a "healthy baby".  Compare that with the average black African, who will often walk miles to a well whilst pregnant, and halfway back home give birth behind a bush, without epidurals, without anaesthetic and without a team of Nurses.

But no, some idiot somewhere thinks that by eliminating bad examples, children will grow up better.  I have news for him.  Any child stupid enough to play in a filthy garbage can and eat rubbish is soon going to learn that this is a staggeringly bad example, and if they don't then they will soon be eliminated from the gene pool by this behavior.  This is Darwinism in action.  (Oops, mustn't mention Darwinism, must we?  It might upset someone.  Let's not mention global warming or nuclear fission byproducts whilst we're at it, eh?)  Any kid who's too dumb to work this stuff out for themselves NEEDS to be prevented from breeding, otherwise you're going to end up with a race of clueless imbeciles who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions, suing anyone and everyone rather than own up to their own stupidity.

As if that would ever happen, eh?


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