06.03.2006 15:04 - Crunchy White Dog-Poo
As nostalgia is all the rage, I want to talk about something which was fairly common in the Seventies, but which seems to have died out. Crunchy white dog-poo.
How is it that you never see crunchy white dog-poos these days? It can't be because they don't get long enough, because they certainly do, especially round here, what with the cutbacks on the City cleaning budget.
No. I think not.
Somewhere, ladies and gentlemen, there is a secret laboratory, where scientists have worked out a secret formula for eliminating crunchy dog-poo. These scientists have fed their experimental Bassets with a variety of additives, until they have worked out a formula that keeps dog-poo fresh, brown and squidgy for as long as it sits there. Doubtless this is the same laboratory, in Japan, that has invented pills to perfume doggy farts so that they have a pleasing (to Japanese noses) fragrance.
But, you ask yourself, why have they done this? Why have they invented this suppliment and sneaked it into every dog food in the world?
I'll tell you why. It's because they're sponsored by shoe manufacturers.