Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

It's not just the times, it's the species.

13.08.2006 23:18 - Another Kind Of Education

Her Maj once explained to me what a "Darkroom" was. The Dark Room in question, was being advertised in the window of an emporium named "Discount Sex", which was not far from my old flat.

This is not the room beloved of amateur photographers, she explained. This was a room beloved by a young men of a certain sexual persuasion who seeked similar, and any developments that took place in there were certainly not of a photographic kind.

It came as some surprise, then, that whilst on a visit to Hamburg, we passed by a shop on the Reeperbahn which specialised in selling plastic replicas of male reproductive organs, both automatic and manually operated varieties1, and Her Maj questioned me as to the usage of one of the more specialised items.

This item was, to be frank, a foot-long double-ended flexible willy.

That, oh light of my life, I explained, is a device favoured by ladies best described as "chicks who like chicks", and allows them to do a fairly good impression of siamese twins. Joined at the hipbone, so to speak. Because of it's easily bendable nature, my dear, it is also favoured by ladies who enjoy having two consecutive orifices plugged simultaneously.

In the latter case, it can also be used as a carrying handle in an emergency.

Collapse of stout party.

1: Rechargable. And Refillable. I presume it operates in a similar way to the toy dolls that you feed and which then defecate. Let's not go any further, eh?

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