Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

God is a comedian, and we are all his punchlines.

19.08.2006 21:04 - Frankenstein's Children

This weekend I have been mostly burning wallpaper.

Yes, I'm back in Veldenz again, working on the house.

Meanwhile, we've noticed that the Feral cats that have taken up residence behind Zür Mühle have had kittens.  Frankenstein, the mother (so-called because she's a mixture of ginger, tiger and what the germans call 'Glückskatze') has had five kittens - one ginger, two Russian blue and two more Glückskatze.  Sausage, her mate, is a big fat black cat.  Of their two siblings, there seems to be no sign.  They probably died last winter.

Her Maj, and Her Maj's mother are constantly cooing over the kittens, even though they know they will probably not last the winter out. Her Maj's sister, being more practical, has put her old cat cage outside, and puts food in there for them.  This afternoon, Her Maj's neice and I improvised a trap, by tieing string to the cage door so that we could slam it shut.

It took about an hour of patient waiting before Frankenstein came down to check the trap.  She has obviously been trapped before, as she nervously sidled up to the trap.  

Little did she know, however, that she was not our quarry.  I had noticed that the kittens would not trust the cage until Frankenstein had broken the ground for them, and successfully brought back food.  They were waiting a way back, so I let Frankenstein retrieve something from the cage.  The ginger kitten also got some food.  Then one of the unsuspecting glückskatze twins went right inside.  I pulled on the string and leapt out to secure the door.  Gottim!

The kitten initially paniced, trying manically to find a way out.  After a while, it calmed down, even to the point of allowing people to stroke it's nose through the bars.  Her Maj's mum called over the local cat woman, who came over to examine the kitten.  She decided she would examine it.

This meant taking it out of the cage.  She hadn't got any gloves on.  I personally wouldn't have let her, but everyone was acting as though she knew what she was doing.

The moment she started to open the cage, the kitten changed.  She grabbed it, and it gave a terrible yowl, sinking both claws and teeth into the silly cow, who let go of it.  The kitten ran off back to it's family.  They haven't come near the cage since, doubtless because it stinks of feline fear.

It is said that if you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door.  Bollocks. 

Build a better cat-trap, and some stupid self-proclaimed expert will let the cat free due to their bloody arrogance. 

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