17.01.2008 07:53 - Tinned Peaches- The Curse of Consumer Society
I've recently been having a clear-out of the cupboards in the kitchen. I don't know if you've ever done this, but no matter when you clear out a kitchen cupboard, you will always find, at the back in the shadows, a twenty-year old tin of peaches.
Now, I've never bought a tin of peaches in my entire life, so where did it come from? It certainly wasn't there when I moved in, and I definitely haven't bought any tinned peaches since I've been here. Perhaps that's what the 'best before' date is on tins. If you don't eat it before that date, it turns into tinned peaches. It's either that or someone's going round breaking into people's flats and leaving tins of peaches in their kitchen cupboards. I reckon it's Ninjas that do it, in some sort of EU plot to keep the canneries busy. Either that or when I invite friends round, they're sneakily offloading their out-of-date peaches on me, which is probably why I always find the tin after New Year. This worries me, because there must be millions of these tins of peaches circulating, never getting opened, so the tin never gets recycled, which means they're a significant drain on the world's metal supply.
Recently, I actually read about a 100-year-old tin, originally canned for the Royal Navy, which was found at the back of a cupboard in the kitchens of the Ark Royal, when they were decommissioning her. Of course, it had lost its label, but when they opened it, guess what? Peaches. Apparently, even though the tin showed signs of deterioration - surface rust, scratches from Ninja throwing stars - the contents were still edible, which proves one thing.
No-one ever, ever, ever eats tinned peaches.
