25.01.2008 08:03 - Hirsute Gravity
Last night, watching "X-Men", we were given a glimpse of Patrick Stewart's hairy chest, which has confirmed my theories on hair and gravity.
You see, when you get to a certain age, the hair stops growing out of the top of your head, and start growing out of your nose, and your ears, and some Turkish Barbers adopt a rather fiery method of dealing with it. I reckon the reason for this is gravity. After a while, the hairs succumb to gravity and stop growing straight up, and instead come out sideways. Which explains Patrick Stewart, because in Star Trek he had to baldly go to planets with a higher gravity than Earth. It's just as well pubic hairs are curly, because otherwise they'd start sticking out the bottom of your trousers. I'm not kidding. I unwound one of them yesterday, and it was so long I could have gone fishing with it. It's bad enough for some women in swimming costumes, especially if they're a redhead.
