27.04.2010 07:30 - Pope Has A Laugh Over Foreign Office Cockup
The Pope has had a bit of a laugh over the leaked Foreign Office suggestions that he bless a gay marriage, open a helpline for abused children and pass out specially-named condoms during his UK visit.
"Dearie Dearie Me, vot a laff I ham haffing viz zeese Krazy ideas" he is quoted to have said, inbetween puffs on a joint. "Is iss wrrong to sink I haf no sense of Humour bekaus I ham a cherman Katlick. I haf all Mario Barth's DVDs and off course, most of Ireland iz Katlick and look what funny zey is." said the former German Cardinal before going and photocopying his backside to send off as part of the latest Papal Bull.