Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

Suffering delusions of adequacy since 2003.


11.10.2007 08:44 - Trick and Treat

It's getting on for Halloween, and so I am preparing for Halloween. You see, Halloween, being primarily a Druid thang, is not officially celebrated in Germany, and Trick-or-Treat has not yet crossed the German cultural border.

And if I have my way, it's going to be met by the equivalent of the Special Police Group and escorted firmly back. Frankly, anything that discourages obnoxious little fuckers hammering on doors and demanding money with menaces is alright in my book. It may save a pensioner or two from the little thugs. (Nostalgia : I can remember the days when Pensioners used to give kids a good thrashing and not the other way round. A sobering thought indeed.)

One of my ideas is adapted from another piece of nostalgia from the 1970's - Spangles. Spangles were a fruit-flavour boiled sweet that came in a red pack. They were quite nice. Unfortunately, there also existed a rare version : the "Olde English Flavours" Spangles, which came in a black packet, and featured rather unappetizing flavours such as licorice, mustard, bovril, earwax and other stuff like that. I can well remember the feeling of disappointment when one of my grandparents told me they'd bought me a pack of sweets and they turned out to be old english spangles. They were specially invented for people like me to give to kids they didn't like. If you wanted to be really mean, what you did was buy several packs of normal spangles, and several packs of old english spangles, break open the packs and mix them up in a big bowl to give to kids at birthday parties.

And therein lies my plan. Although Spangles, old english or otherwise, are long gone, I have another weapon that I am planning to deploy....

Wasabi Peanuts. 

That'll clean out the snotty little buggers nasal passages for them.


Copyright © 2003-2011 Steve Dix