Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

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08.11.2006 11:00 - Boom-Bang-A-Bang

I'm flying to England today, and, just when you think it's safe to fly, the European Union go and stick this restriction on everyone.

What a load of paranoid crap. Just as well I'm sticking the guitar in the whack-proof case in the hold.

Last time I flew I managed to get there just before the mad panic. Remember that one? The police found a load of peroxide in a rubbish dump. A bomb cache! Well, er, no, actually. It was a load of old stock some hairdresser had dumped, and hairdressing peroxide is too dilute a solution to actually make a bomb. Certainly you'd look conspicious carrying that much peroxide onto a plane - mainly because it would take six of you, and you'd all have to go to the loo at once.

So, what exactly is it that they're worried about?

Apparently toothpaste is worrying to our guardians. Presumably they fear that some enterprising terrorist will empty the tube and then fill it with plastic explosive. Plastic explosive is supposed to be undetectable. Except that, since the Lockerbie disaster, all plastic explosive has been manufactured with a distinctive chemical smell, which is easily detectable. This also begs the question of how many toothpaste tubes of plastic explosive would it take to make a viable bomb, and how would the detonator also be smuggled onboard as hand luggage.

So, I'm not taking any toothpaste. Or soap. Or travel clocks that tick loudly.


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