Steve Dix...Comedian?

Raptus Regaliter

Foraging for food in the bins beside the Information Highway.


28.11.2006 17:25 - The Black Arts

Is it me, or is there some strange belief amongst the fairer sex that all men are automatically endowed with knowledge of electricity?

Her Maj seems to believe that electric is a black art, stolen from the Gods and handed down from father to son.  Admitting a lack of this knowledge is tantamount to admissions of homosexuality, except in this case she eventually gets round to sleeping with me again.  Her attitude to electrical failure takes the following path : crossed arms, a scowl and "fix it".

Some of you may know about the country-wide power failure that we experienced recently.  As Her Maj was not at home, I just went to sleep until the lights came on again.  Had she been at home, I would have been exhorted to go and check fuseboxes, flip-switches etc, even though the street light outside had visibly stopped working.

As for "fixing" various electrical nightmares that lie around the flat, left by Monsieur Foudroye, the previous owner, I have one thing to say : My knowledge of electric is as follows : It hurts. 

This is why I want to call a professional electrician. 

I don't care if the entire street turns up on the doorstep calling me queer. 


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